Barnaby Joyce in Antarctica.

Hi Turbochums™

Thanks to the folks who said nice things about the video I did last week. Making any kind of social media content makes me very uncomfortable. I feel like if I had started comedy even a little bit later I would have understood that making funny stuff online where it is visible to lots of people is the most necessary and important part of being a comedian at the moment. Instead I have always had some weird faith in the garbage fire that is the Australian comedy industry, and theres only so long you can try and impress a garbage fire.

My plan is to keep making videos until I have a social media following so big that I become completely insufferable, and my only friends are Jayden Smith and that blonde guy who’s always dabbing and I think is racist but I can’t remember, you know the one.

I’m amazed when people have incredible stories that they don’t tell you for years. I feel like in comedy having an engaging and funny story is the most valuable currency and it’s wild when people keep it to themselves. 

I was talking to my friend about politics and she said she was sick of her dad defending Barnaby Joyce.

I asked if he was super conservative. She said ‘No, it’s just that in 2006 they went to Antarctica together so now my dad thinks he’s a top bloke. 

‘What now.’

‘Yea, my dad is a scientist, and he went on a ship to Antarctica to do research, Barnaby Joyce was on the ship (Reason still unclear), and they really hit it off.’ 

 I’ve known you for years, how have you never told me this?’

‘It never came up!’

This is just my opinion, but I think waiting for things to come up naturally is a crutch used by cowards to pass off dog-shit stories as good conversation. If you have a story like that, you don’t need to wait around for context. You can say it whenever you like. Scream it to a stranger, whisper it to a child. With a story that good you could interrupt most funerals and it would still be fine. If anything it would lighten the mood.

If that was my story people would have that information before they knew my name.

I think it’s funny how it’s still affecting his view on politics. I haven’t heard anyone else defending Barnaby, so I think this is actually a great political strategy. If a political party made every single Australian voter have a thrilling adventure with one of their politicians. It a guarantees an election win.

‘I hate what Malcolm Turnbull did on Manus island, but then again, when we went ice climbing in Switzerland he was a absolute ripper bloke.’

I wonder what they talked about. ‘G’day Bec’s Dad! (I don’t know his name) Bloody cold out here haha, anyway I’m having an affair and I’m a New Zealand citizen, don’t tell anyone, new friend.’ 

‘Your secrets are safe with me Barnaby Joyce, and even If it does come out, I will defend you to the very end, as that is the code of the antarctic.’

‘I knew I could count on you Bec’s Dad, now lets eat a penguin or whatever it is that I’m supposed to be doing here, it it’s unclear even to me.

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Jack Druce